Let Your Face Be Seen in 2014!

As I've been gearing up for No MakeUp May 2014, I've noticed a meme going around Facebook of women posting themselves makeup free, #nofilters.

In light of a similar challenge calling friends to shotgun a bottle of whiskey and any other ridiculous liquid you can think of, it excites me to see this trend taking off, especially now as May is around the corner.

I started No MakeUp May 2 years ago as a way to explore my own relationship to makeup, to see what came up when I put the makeup down (you can read more about it here).  And never to one to do something small or alone, I challenged other women to join me as well.  One was a teacher and shared the amazing story of how when she challenged her own classroom of boys and girls to go with no makeup, it sparked an incredible conversation on how boys see the girls in their class.  It was especially transformative for one young girl who dared to go bare for just a day.

So as May 1st doth approach I invite you to show your courage and go nude - whether a day, a week, a month or for the minute it takes to take a photo.  Either way, answer the survey and follow this blog and together let's support one another as we bare our bare face to the world!

I also invite you to join the "Nude Gallery" by sending me a photo of your radiant face to nomakeupmay@gmail.com!

And here's my own first "naked" photo of 2014:

What Do You Hate?

Ahhh, it's the classic make you feel better tactic used the world over.  The "I can out self-deprecate you".  How many times have you been woefully mourning the lack of an endowed bosom only to have a friend chime in saying "I wish I had smaller boobs, try buttoning these melons into a nice blouse" or longing for perfect bouncy ringlets only to have another friend cry out for straight hair.  It's the greener grass of beauty.

As I was at my local grocers this week one of the more popular "Celebrity News"magazines popped out at me with an article - "Celebs Confess: What I Hate about my body".  I had to buy it cause I just knew it was gonna give me some great material for No Makeup May.  I paid $5.49 for what I'm sure was intended to make all us "normal" women feel better cause, guess what?

• Jessica Alba hates her boobs
• Jennifer Love Hewitt hates her hips
• Cameron Diaz hates her hair
• Jennifer Aniston hates her butt
• Kim Kardashian hates her legs
• and the one that tops them all.........Angelina Jolie hates her lips!!! Her lips?  How much bloody camera and ink time has been dedicated to her full voluptuous lips?!?!  

There! Don't you feel better?  

These women who we have been told, over and over again, are examples of "true beauty" don't even like parts of themselves.  What the hell is wrong with this picture?!?!  This doesn't make me feel better! I look at their beautiful bodies that have been flaunted in television and magazines and am painfully aware that I look NOTHING like them!  So if they hate what they've got well it's time to start reading "Agoraphobia for Dummies" cause there's no way I'm goin outside again!

But seriously, the saddest part I find about this article that sprawled across the two page spread, over top photos of these beautiful women are the words "I HATE MY...".  How many times have you looked at yourself in the mirror or in conversation with friends and said "I hate my thighs, or my nose, or my ass."  We isolate each body part, creating enemies of our under arms, our breasts, our whatever.

But here's a different perspective, every part of your body is yours to do with what you will.  Your ass did not decide one day to detach itself and go live the hi life while you slaved away at the gym.  Hating it will not somehow magically transform it into the most beautiful posterior the world has ever seen.  How can we ever love our bodies if it is hate that motivates us to alter or improve it?  Don't run 10km, 5 times a week to get rid of your jiggly tummy, run 10km because it strengthens your heart, and stretches your lungs and moves your muscles.  Stop forcing broccoli down your throat so you can "pull off" that sexy dress but because it is what your body longs for in order to function.  

I wish articles like this never made it to print.  I wish it was no longer acceptable to hate any part of who we are.  It's time to make peace with ourselves and to fall in love again with the body that has served us as well as we have allowed it to.  

My challenge is for all of us to spend even 2 minutes focusing in on our "trouble spots".  Then begin to let your focus take in everything around that spot until you are seeing yourself complete and whole.  And from there look into your soul and see the real you - whole, creative, natural, beautiful, potential incarnate. 

Mothers Be Good to Yourselves, We Might Be Watching

I recently watched a documentary that explained how throughout pregnancy and during the birthing process large amounts of a certain hormone is released in the mother that actually makes her extra protective over the small vulnerable life that is about to enter the world.  A woman's body is automatically equipped to do everything to protect their child.  

One thing I think many mothers fail to protect their daughters from, however, is the endless judgement they place on themselves.  They think their daughters aren't watching when they look dejectedly in the mirror as they slip into last year's swim suit, that their little ears don't understand what crows feet and cellulitis mean.  But we know and we learn.  Parents can say "do as I say" but kids will still do as you do.   

I learned from my mother to take note of the size of my thighs, to worry about the small veins that are starting to appear on my legs, to make sure my heals are smooth and moisturized, to try drinking coconut milk so I lose weight.  I didn't learn this because she told me I needed to work on these things;  I learned it from listening to her own heart breaking criticisms and attempts at physical self improvement.  

When i think of my mom, however, I think of how she used to let me swing between her legs when she sat in her housecoat - I don't really know how to describe how this worked, it just did and it was awesome - I think of how she would make finger tracks in the carpet when she vacuumed so I could jump from one to the next; I think of how she bought a ticket to a football game just to hear me sing the national anthem; I think of how she works so hard and is so lovely that everyone is in admiration when they meet her; I think of how she continues to sacrifice herself for her family even when her children are grown.  How dare anyone say that she color her hair, or drop a few pounds or buy $100 product to tighten her skin but this is what the endless litany of commercials, magazine articles and television shows would tell her. 

And if she believes that of herself, how am I supposed to believe that I'm perfect and beautiful just the way I am when I have her eyes, her skin, her thighs?  

Mother's, don't take for granted that little eyes are watching you, little ears hear you and they drink in everything you are because, to them, you are just as beautiful and perfect as you think they are.  Teach your daughters to love themselves as they are by loving yourself completely.  See yourself through the eyes of your children when you were their greatest hero - so if your kids are teenagers, try to think back to that time before your were just the person out to ruin their lives :P

Happy Mother's Day - You are beautiful!

The Knockoff Syndrome

We are paying to put on beauty, meanwhile our true beauty remains diminished.  The reason why we consider things like clear skin, shiny hair and a slender body as beautiful is because, at the most fundamental level of our innate instincts is the need to procreate with a healthy mate that will carry our DNA to the next generation.  It boils down to survival of the fittest.  

What has happened, however, in the past century is that we have learned to fake health.  The quality of our food continues to diminish and disappear and our level of activity has become a recreational option.   We treat our bodies with little respect or thought for what it actually needs to function at its optimal level yet we are still able to look completely "healthy".  It's like finding a perfect knockoff for a Coach bag - you appear to own the luxury without actually paying for it. 

And the beauty industry has tapped into it.  You wanna eat what you want, drink what you want, live as hard as you want and still look great?  Then buy our product!  A friend pointed out the clever wording that advertisers use - "Healthy Looking".  Be it skin, hair, body, name it.  But is healthy looks as healthy does?  What are we really buying when we shell out $80 for that skin cream that promises a glowing even complexion?  I submit to the court that we are buying a lie.  And even worse, most of these products are so riddled with toxins that we're harming our bodies even more by using them.   You know what gives glowing clear skin?  Hint, it didn't come from a lab but you could grow it if you wanted to. 

But who wants to eat fresh vegetables and fruits and lean meats and beans and grains, it's all so hard and confusing.  Just give me a pill and hand me my diet Coke, I got no time to figure that stuff out.  

We live in a society where we have traded in our health for the quick fix.  We've so disconnected from our bodies that we leave it to doctors, magazine articles and makeup products to carry us through life so that we don't actually have to take responsibility for the consequences of our actions.  That is until our doctor tells us we've developed cancer, or diabetes or we see our pale drawn complexion in the morning before we can paint on the facade.  

 Do we want to just look healthy or do we actually want to be healthy?  Our skin is the last thing to get nutrition.  So what is your skin telling you?  As you see yourself makeup free, start to connect with your body, with what it's telling you it needs.  Begin to see your body, not as a flawed reject from the manufacturer but as the miracle that is you.  Everything that goes on in your body in every second is a miracle.  As I sit here and type I think of all that is going on between my brain, my fingers, my cognitive and sub-concious thought.  Our bodies are a thing to be admired and celebrated, not picked apart and "fixed".  

I challenge you now to close your eyes and place your hand upon your heart.  Feel it beat as it pumps life giving blood to every inch of your body.  Feel your breath go in and out without thought.  Become aware in this moment of how many thoughts your brain can sort through in a second all while making sure everything is working as it should.  Take this moment and honour your body and with that thought look at yourself in the mirror and acknowledge the miracle you are.  

You are no knockoff - You are a miracle!

  

The Beauty of Gratitude

Tonight I took my makeupless face to a club to hear my friends band, 8 Bit Dynasty.

 Little plug, download their EP from Itunes for only $2.99!

8 Bit Dynasty

I've known this gifted group of musicians for years, some of them for over a decade.  I met them as students at the college where I once worked as liaison for the music program.  Most of them, at some point, sat in my office and shared their lives, their hopes, their struggles, their dreams and their jokes with me.  Some I worked closely with, toured with, some I watched develop at a distance.  And there they all were together on stage sounding amazing and my heart was filled with gratitude.

Gratitude for the opportunity I've had to be in their lives.  Gratitude for the smiles they greet me with when I show up.  Gratitude for knowing glances when inside jokes are made.  Gratitude for all the laughter I've shared with each of them.  Gratitude for allowing me to be me and gratitude for the music they have brought into this world.

What does this have to do with No Makeup May?  Absolutely everything!  For tonight they were the mirror through which I saw myself.  Tonight I saw myself as the person who inspired them, who they admired, the person they want to share their funny stories with, to make me laugh, the person to be a witness to their greatness.  I am the person who is beautiful without makeup, I am a musician, an artist, a friend.  

I have said that I wish I could see myself as others see me because then I might see myself more truly.  My eyes dart too quickly to the rolls on my sides, the circles under my eyes or the 

dimples in my thighs (huh, that rhymed).  But these people, my friends, see me and I'm pretty confident they think I'm pretty swell.  And perhaps if I spend less time obsessing about every little physical flaw and more time on the love of my friends and the love I can give back to them, then maybe, just maybe, I will begin to see what they see when they look at me.  

Do You Talk to Your Mother With That Language?!

Day 5 is a gloomy lazy day, perfect for watching a documentary.  Today's selection?

Hungry For Change

I give it 5 out of 5 for every day I've made it without makeup. 

Much like Miss Representation, Hungry For Change deals with the diet industry and the lies it feeds us (pun intended) to fund a multi-billion dollar industry. 

What's the key to losing weight?

"I accept myself unconditionally right now!"

Something I've been repeating to myself throughout this no makeup process.

And I was reminded of an assignment I created some years ago from a self deprecating conversation I was having with a friend. I was berating myself for, who knows what, my meal choice, my man choice, whatever, and she stopped me and said, with no lack of passion, "would you talk to anyone the way you talk to yourself?!".  Answer is, of course not!  Which got me thinking, what are the things I say to myself on a constant basis?

So I went home, grabbed my journal and began to create a list of all the negative things I was saying to myself at the time - I wish I had a funkier wardrobe, why can't I just lose weight, my skin is a mess, why do I still obsess over that guy?! and on it went until I had 40 things written down on my list that I held against myself.  

The assignment was simple.  Each day I would take one item from the list and address it as though I was speaking to a friend.  Why this works for me is because I give FAR greater grace and understanding to my friends when they are struggling then I give to myself.  

I'd like to say the assignment instantly turned my life around as I began to swim in a sea of self love but the truth is, the list actually took a couple of years to complete.  I'd forget about it or, more truthfully, avoid it but it always lingered in my mind and I would be reminded of it every time I'd hear a friend say, "you're so hard on yourself".  

This year I finally completed it because, more and more, I desired the same acceptance and love for myself that I bestowed on others.  The funny thing is, looking back at some of the things that were on my list I thought "Really? that made it on there?! I was actually holding that against myself?"

In the end I found, and continually find,  the grace to be me.  And as I forgive myself for all the things I'm not, I have begun to really become aware of all the things I am!  

I go back to the quote I used on my original post.  "Love is not love which alters when alteration it finds".  What this says to me is that, through the eyes of true love there is only acceptance and grace. 

 Most mothers when they look at their child see only pure beauty and wonder.  If someone were to come and suggest a few areas they could tweak, she would lunge at their throats like a lioness protecting her young - just ask my teacher friend when she suggests that a student perhaps needs some learning assistance to a parent!  The love of a parent is unconditional. 

So I accept myself unconditionally because I love me! I'm fun and I have really cool friends and I sing when punching in my pin number at Tim Hortons and I've had the opportunity to impact people's lives and I'm a hard worker and I like art and well, enough about me.

So my challenge to you, my No Makeup Maykers, as you go through this month and as you see yourself, maybe for the first time, look through the eyes of love.  Let's stop being our own worst critic and start being our own best lovers!