31 days makeup free
31 days of having to see
31 days of finding my power
Then wanting to hide in a faraway tower
But as the days passed by I began to discover
That underneath it all was my long lost lover
Eyes of clear blue that saw deep in my heart
And spoke words of commitment to the most broken parts
She spoke of my courage, my wisdom, my strength
And to grant me my freedom she would go to great lengths
For this self imposed prison, I've been granted the key
Stepped through gates of love and at last embraced me!
I began this blog journey with a quote from a FAR greater poet -
"Love is not love which alters when alteration it finds" ~ William Shakespeare
True beauty is seen through the eyes of love and what I've learned throughout this month is that to love myself is to see myself as I am, blemishes and all, and know that I am beautiful. Advertisers would have us think differently. "Go ahead love yourself, but wouldn't be easier if you had less wrinkles? Or dewy skin?"
Now, is that to say that women who wear makeup don't love themselves? OF COURSE NOT!
But for some and certainly for me it was so.
I think of another quote that I have also become more deeply connected with this month.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, GORGEOUS, talented fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be!" ~ Marianne Williamson
See, for me, putting on makeup or finding the right fitting clothes, or shoes, or accessories, or whatever, was all about me saying, 'I have no right to be gorgeous, or even somewhat attractive, as I am'. Who am I to walk into a room and have people notice? So I apologize and fix myself in order to fit in, to meet the correct standards so that I can exist in the world. Meanwhile, inside me there is wisdom and insight, humor and music, intelligence and truth. But none of that mattered because the package never seemed suitable.
Now I'd love to report that I have been completely transformed. That after 31 days of seeing myself I have had a life changing epiphany and will never wear makeup or feel small again but alas, it is not so. If there's one thing I've learned this month is that, this is a complex and deeply rooted issue.
But I'm certainly not where I was 31 days ago. Indeed, 32 days ago I knew the only way I could do it was the fact that I had announced to so many people that I was going to do this in an effort to change the world. I had to put my money where my mouth was and I am so glad that I did. I realised that it IS possible. And that there is so much to be learned in doing it.
I wanted to spark conversations, get people thinking and that has happened. And mostly I wanted to know that I could truly see myself and not apologize. I also wanted us to find out what emerges when we start swimming up the stream of perfection. What would we bump up against when casting aside our makeup or whatever we use to cover our perceived imperfections.
One strange thing that I did notice, that I can't quite put my finger on, is that I found it easier to truly embrace my reflection without makeup. Maybe, because I was no longer hiding behind the made up veneer, I was forced to see myself as I truly am and, I have to say, I was kinda happy with what I saw; what I see.
I am a complex organism made up of many many cells all with their unique function to make me a walking, talking, thinking, feeling, human being. I am complete with thoughts, spirit, emotion and energy. My purpose in this world is to awaken the truth in others. To inspire people to choose life (not necessarily in that anti-abortion way but rather in the, make choices that will move your life forward in the direction you desire way) and choose love (as in love for yourself and love for others cause if you truly loved then you would truly want the best for yourself and for others) in every moment (as in THIS moment because THIS moment is the only moment we have, it is the only thing that is NOW, that is real and that is tangible. It is in THIS moment that everything can change. Not the past moment and not the future moment, NOW).
And none of this has anything to do with what I look like. It will not change if I'm wearing lipstick or not. Okay sure, the world will embrace me differently but I choose to believe that I have the power to change that. One month at a time!
So thank you everyone for your support - whether from the sidelines, or by letting your true radiance show or even by financially supporting the cause that I am also hoping to support - Juno House.
This has been a great beginning and it is only the beginning. Stay with me and together we will change the world for the better, for ourselves, for those who went before us and those that will follow in our path. Let's continue to be the change in a world that so desperately needs truth, love and acceptance.
